This post is out of place as it comes after other runs but its the only important one right now.
I went up Fan Brycheiniog today with Claire and Tilly today and I really struggled with vertigo to the point that I was walking well inside the path to stay off the ridge. I don’t understand it it. It’s like not being able to see straight, everything shifts weirdly. To be fair some of this was helped when Claire put Tilly on the lead because I was sort of freaking out about internally about losing the the dog over the edge. I knew it wasnt going to happen but in my head right then it could.
I can do this, its a struggle at heights, I spin out, the ground feels like its moving and I dont understand it as I can run the cliffs at home happily. I need to get used to it. I think if id been alone and running I could have dealt with it better. Running you just deal with it, you deal with the pain and just go on, there isnt the thinking time.
I can do this. I’ll keep saying I can do this. It was embarrassing today that I had to admit i was in trouble. It was to Claires credit that she never once mentioned it afterwards and im guessing didn’t push me on that path but let me choose other routes. I guess thats what friends are for eh. Tilly was just happy being out. I dunno I loved every moment of being out. We did 10 miles, we bitched and moaned and happily (yeah right) squelched our way through miles of bog. But I cant escape the fact Im scared of heights and Im not quite sure how to fix it.
Blue Green Gold Grey, Awyr Maes Tywod Aarreg 
Fear of heights is quite normal I’d say. Loads of ppl I know cannot do cliff walks etc because of it. You might not get or think of the anxiety while you exercise as it is similar symptoms like high heart rate? I think I just read about it in the book ‘Spark’ … it also usually gets bigger if focussed on it … so while running you focus on where to put the foot rather than other things …
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Worth giving that book a look? I think you’re probably right about the focus. I feel in control when i run alone. Yesterday I had time to think and that exacerbated it. Ive an idea to try running it or something similar (less steep as I dont think I can do 4 miles of climb like that haha) alone.
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I like the book. It is generally about how good exercise is for everything.
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Found it! Need some new reading =)
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Fantastic! Let me know what you think about it. There is a follow up by the same author 🙄
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