This post is out of place as it comes after other runs but its the only important one right now.
I went up Fan Brycheiniog today with Claire and Tilly today and I really struggled with vertigo to the point that I was walking well inside the path to stay off the ridge. I don’t understand it it. It’s like not being able to see straight, everything shifts weirdly. To be fair some of this was helped when Claire put Tilly on the lead because I was sort of freaking out about internally about losing the the dog over the edge. I knew it wasnt going to happen but in my head right then it could.
I can do this, its a struggle at heights, I spin out, the ground feels like its moving and I dont understand it as I can run the cliffs at home happily. I need to get used to it. I think if id been alone and running I could have dealt with it better. Running you just deal with it, you deal with the pain and just go on, there isnt the thinking time.
I can do this. I’ll keep saying I can do this. It was embarrassing today that I had to admit i was in trouble. It was to Claires credit that she never once mentioned it afterwards and im guessing didn’t push me on that path but let me choose other routes. I guess thats what friends are for eh. Tilly was just happy being out. I dunno I loved every moment of being out. We did 10 miles, we bitched and moaned and happily (yeah right) squelched our way through miles of bog. But I cant escape the fact Im scared of heights and Im not quite sure how to fix it.